I don’t know if it’s just me, or also depends on the person that I’m talking to as well, but something I’ve noticed lately, is that in the long run I don’t really care how I’m perceived. People do call me shy sometimes, but the thing is, even if at times I’m shy – it doesn’t always mean that I’m timid or meek or anything like that. I’ve actually been having a lot of conversations with lots of different people – be it at a store, or at an event. I always find something to talk about. So I’m happy that’s been happening. It’s good 🙂 Also, I’ve noticed something lately that I’m happy about. I’m pretty happy in my own skin – at peace with myself. I don’t need the company of others to validate how I feel, or to prove my worth. I’m perfectly happy if I’m sitting alone and sometimes even find it peaceful. Maybe it’s just something you learn as you go, or just something some people always have inside them, but some people just naturally have a calmness to them. I’ve been told I can act calm and not show my nervousness or stress in situations before, but it probably depends on who I’m with and in what situation. I don’t feel the need to be “popular”, I don’t think I’ve ever felt that need – I’m perfectly happy with the people that I do surround myself with, it’s enough for me. I also have noticed that I stopped expecting too much out of the bigger things. When things get cancelled, I’m not that disappointed haha because I get that life happens. I’ve just been taking life as it comes and not worrying about too much. Life is life and it always will be.
Oh and on that note, I had my first shift at the counselling clinic last week, and I’m not going to lie, I did walk out slightly in shock. But you know what?! It’s probably a good thing I had that experience because if this is what I want to do as a career, this was a good insight into things that I might have to see. I had a thought of not wanting to volunteer there again, but then I thought about it again and told myself that no, I should do this because it’ll be good for me, and it will also help me feel confident and calm and help relax/feel welcoming to these people in dire need of help. I’m a receptionist there, so I greet people on the phone and help them out in how to get to the clinic and answer questions they may have. I also help the people who walk in, as it is a walk in clinic. That’s what’s going on so far. I will keep you updated.