Things

So I just got home from a long day (TGIF!!!) and am so happy to just be here and eat and relax a bit…the way home was a bit long cause there was a bit of a hold up, I made the best of it as I could. I don’t know why, but I’m still sad over him…as I was leaving I saw him walk by, and it angered/saddened me a bit, thankfully he was far enough away. It’s like, every time there’s a guy, it’s fine, he disappears but then that guy’s not there anymore and my mind always goes back to him. Why did this happen, I tell myself why? I’m trying to just tell myself that God has a better plan in store, and someone who will be everything I want, and more………..

I guess I’m just tired of things, but I’m sure something good is to come soon…

Also something I’ve kind of just been thinking about and kind of mentioned to my friend and even coincidentally my teacher touched on too was this thing about when you’re in relationships and sometimes you come together as two people, do things together, sometimes doing the same two things together and sometimes just are together all the time, and I guess as someone who hasn’t been in one in awhile, it’s easy for me to say “well I just want to be my own person, I’m not going to let them change me” etc. etc. Although yes, you should not let the person change you, at the same time I guess it’s easy to fall into the habit (or whatever you want to call it) of getting used to, or comfortable of their constant presence, whether it be physical or on the phone or texting or what have you. The thing is, sometimes, naturally we tend to get so used to it that it could be unhealthy, and sometimes lead to expectations. It’s hard to find a balance, it is, but I guess going in with real expectations of a relationship is healthy too. It’s easy for someone like me to say something like “they spend way too much time together, I hope she doesn’t depend on him for happiness” and things like that, but really. what do I know? Yes, it’s okay for the other person to make you happy, but at the same time, you should be happy being your own person too and let that person enhance your character with theirs and increase your already happy state of nature, you know? Yeah…haha it’s just something I think about I guess.

Something else that I’ve talked to a few people about is that I have a bit of a goofy, silly side too that keeps me going and I like to have a laugh over little things. I’ve been with someone before that made me feel really really silly for who I was, and let me tell you it was horrible and I never want to experience that again, so that’s something I will absolutely not tolerate. Too bad, sucker šŸ˜› You treat me nicely and I’ll do the same šŸ™‚ Anyways, love you all, *hugs* šŸ™‚

Imaskara šŸ™‚

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4 comments

  1. nearlywes · September 12, 2015

    I enjoy your level of optimism, in a world that is fueled by terrible crap it’s good to know that there are people that haven’t been broken. I keep my head above water as much as I can, but sometimes shit gets real…it gets so real.
    But that isn’t what I wanna talk about, I to also talk to people about the whole relationship type of things and we have come up with a few things that we think many people forget. 1. Be happy with who you are. There is a whole lot of people that feel that thy need someone to carry them out of a hard time, though relationships only work if both people are happy with not only it but with themselves. You can’t have someone who is amazingly confident and then have someone who is always self doubting, that leads to a dependency type of relationships. and 2. This also kind of ties into the whole be happy with yourself thing. But you know how people talk about a relationship being 50/50 in terms of participation. It’s more of a 100/100 type of thing (This is more of a how to make them work kind of thing.) You have to give as much work as the other, but you also don’t want to leave behind family and what not in it’s wake. Though I have a problem with that which is why it’s one of my rules now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • imaskara · September 12, 2015

      Oh wow. Thanks so much!!! Those were great! Yeah family’s such a huge thing…haha….it’s a gigantic struggle because I’m naturally a quiet person but when I do want something I will make sure to voice myself, it’s just really hard when you have people in your family who are the complete opposite and talk a lot, more than they should probably and it’s a battle I face haha, but that’s life. It’s good when you have people their for you too, though be it friends or siblings.

      Liked by 1 person

    • imaskara · September 12, 2015

      Also, I feel I may have been broken a few times and it might have taken years or a year or whatever amount of time to get back up again, haha. I’ve been out of the scene for awhile and maybe that’s helped šŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

    • imaskara · September 12, 2015

      Also, I feel as though I really, really want to better myself and be in a solid, happy, content and satisfied place in life before I get into a relationship because I want to be confident and happy with who I am, first. I always ask myself the reasons I want to get into one, if I ever find myself considering it and sometimes I have to push myself to make sure it’s all for the right reasons. šŸ™‚ I feel as though I’m on the brink of something, but I’m not sure. I am pushing myself to be confident and to say hi to new people, so I suppose that’s a good start to just being social in general. Who knows what I might stumble across. Anyways, I just want to focus on me, the most important person I need to better in my life right now. I hope that you are able to find calm and peace, Wes šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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