So I just got home from a long day (TGIF!!!) and am so happy to just be here and eat and relax a bit…the way home was a bit long cause there was a bit of a hold up, I made the best of it as I could. I don’t know why, but I’m still sad over him…as I was leaving I saw him walk by, and it angered/saddened me a bit, thankfully he was far enough away. It’s like, every time there’s a guy, it’s fine, he disappears but then that guy’s not there anymore and my mind always goes back to him. Why did this happen, I tell myself why? I’m trying to just tell myself that God has a better plan in store, and someone who will be everything I want, and more………..
I guess I’m just tired of things, but I’m sure something good is to come soon…
Also something I’ve kind of just been thinking about and kind of mentioned to my friend and even coincidentally my teacher touched on too was this thing about when you’re in relationships and sometimes you come together as two people, do things together, sometimes doing the same two things together and sometimes just are together all the time, and I guess as someone who hasn’t been in one in awhile, it’s easy for me to say “well I just want to be my own person, I’m not going to let them change me” etc. etc. Although yes, you should not let the person change you, at the same time I guess it’s easy to fall into the habit (or whatever you want to call it) of getting used to, or comfortable of their constant presence, whether it be physical or on the phone or texting or what have you. The thing is, sometimes, naturally we tend to get so used to it that it could be unhealthy, and sometimes lead to expectations. It’s hard to find a balance, it is, but I guess going in with real expectations of a relationship is healthy too. It’s easy for someone like me to say something like “they spend way too much time together, I hope she doesn’t depend on him for happiness” and things like that, but really. what do I know? Yes, it’s okay for the other person to make you happy, but at the same time, you should be happy being your own person too and let that person enhance your character with theirs and increase your already happy state of nature, you know? Yeah…haha it’s just something I think about I guess.
Something else that I’ve talked to a few people about is that I have a bit of a goofy, silly side too that keeps me going and I like to have a laugh over little things. I’ve been with someone before that made me feel really really silly for who I was, and let me tell you it was horrible and I never want to experience that again, so that’s something I will absolutely not tolerate. Too bad, sucker 😛 You treat me nicely and I’ll do the same 🙂 Anyways, love you all, *hugs* 🙂