Here I Am

So here I am, lying awake at 6 AM…haven’t been able to sleep for2 hours….I don’t know what’s come over me lately, it’s so strange. I feel almost as if I’m a burden on everyone, or maybe it’s the lack of sleep talking. 

I’ve gone on a three day meditation retreat with my mother and her yoga instructor who she’s friends with, and it’s been great. I hope to find myself a little on this trip…something I’ve never said before haha.

I don’t know what it is or why I feel this way, but I just feel so distant, especially from my best friend. I try to talk, but then I feel like I’m just a nuisance and then I stop, and give her space. I just don’t want a distant relationship, cause those suck so much and can make one feel alone (yes, I said that). I’m being brave, being strong and opening up. I know it’s finals season and everyone’s really busy and stressed so I don’t blame anyone for being cranky or snarky it’s all good. I shouldn’t complain even cause I’ve only had a couple classes this semester…I don’t even know how I feel about it all yet!! Maybe it’ll sink in when it’s all done…crazy!! I just dislike how nowadays everyone’s intentions are always questioned and it’s hard when you feel someone like that is questioning yours because you begin to hesitate to ask anything anymore….:/ We used to have blogs and only we could see each other’s but those were the old days and things change….this blogs pretty anonymous and it’s pretty cool that way. 🙂 

It’s crazy how quickly life is changing. I’ve told myself recently that no regrets, so I’m going to try and settle anything that may rectify as one. It’s a hard life living somewhere where all your customs and values your parents instill in you don’t apply, it’s a huge challenge. It’s a struggle, even. 

I just hope whatever happens in my future is that I’m truly happy and don’t look back with regrets and wish life had panned out differently. I hope for you too bestie that your life becomes all you want it to and more and I’m so proud of all you’ve done and accomplished thus far, it’s amazing!!!! 

All the best to my readers out there!

  

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6 comments

  1. tastelikestars · April 8, 2015

    Oh man…I felt the same thing with my best friend years ago. I gave her space and eventually I was just forgotten. I hope it doesn’t happen to you and things work out for you guys! ^^

    Liked by 1 person

  2. imaskara · April 8, 2015

    Wow thank you so much!!! Yeah I just feel as though shes going through tough times, and I’ve been giving her lots of room…for the longest time I would just send lots and lots of uplifting messages, but you know how it goes…someone must see the light themselves in order for them to see it, no one else can make them see it 🙂 we all go through ups and downs I guess haha. 😛

    Like

  3. nearlywes · April 12, 2015

    I can understand how you feel, my best friend lives in a different state. When I moved it was extremely tough, but it’s been six years now and whenever I visit it’s like no time has gone by. I enjoy it, but there are weeks where we go not talking at all. It’s gets to the point that I feel that we just forget about one another, but then he sends me a random text saying ‘Hi’ or I send him a random text saying ‘Hello’. It works for us, and this whole comment makes me sound like a girl lmao.

    Liked by 1 person

    • imaskara · April 12, 2015

      Hahahaha Wes. Something I’ve learned and it’s not easy for anyone to admit is that it’s only human to feel that way ❤ thanks for sharing

      Like

  4. nearlywes · April 12, 2015

    I should add that I have known him since I was six haha

    Liked by 1 person

    • imaskara · April 12, 2015

      Oh wow!!!!! That’s amazing haha. I’ve only known her since I was 16

      Like

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